Sunday, July 25, 2010

Only Get Hurt

here's to the girls who used to be his number one. the one who waited all night for him to call, only to check the caller id the next morning & be disappointed. the one who made it through that bitter break up, dried her own tears, & moved on with her life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened. you're the one who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. you're the one who listened to him say, "i only want to be your friend", one day, & the next, listened to him say how much he loves & misses you. you deserve something, & this is your tribute. here's to you, the one that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change. you listened to me tell you that you were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, caught crap from your parents, & even snuck around to see him for while. you went through the great stage with no fights all over again. you started this out thinking it would be just friends, & ended up falling in love with him all over again. you wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved you too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. & when you finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. this is for you boo. here's to you, the one who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. here's for the tears cried & dried all over again. you wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn't possibly call you at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. you trained yourself to believe the lies because you wanted to believe you had found the one for you. you learned to settle for someone who didn't treat you the way you should be treated. here's for you, the one who did your hair  make up & put on their prettiest earrings, only to hear him say that he couldn't see you today. the one who never believed it when people told you there might be someone else. you just couldn't believe that he could do this to you again. this is for this amazing girl who loved him more than words can say, & took him back no matter what happened last time because she couldn't bear to look back on her life one day & wonder "what if". this is for you that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, & cried during the entire conversation. you are the one who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved you. when he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her, he didn't mean it. you're the one that held on to something that was never there to begin with. this is for you, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, & get him to tell you that he was in love with you again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that "things were going too fast, he needs time." here's to you, the one who couldn't cry to me because of how stupid you felt. you're the one who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. you're the one who couldn't bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an "i told you so." you're the one that could just tell that you had made a mistake ever allowing him into your litttle fragile heart & your big dreams again. you knew that you deserved better the entire time, you deserve a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see you whenever he got the chance, one that really cares about you. you just want the one that you love like that. here's for you, the one that finally realized that he never gave a crap about you. here's for the time that he broke your heart again. this is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, & the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment. here's for you, my bestfriend who finally realized that she deserves better. this is for those confusing days, when you miss him & want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist. stay strong & remember that relationships are like broken glass; sometimes it's better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together & get hurt. remember the times you cried & how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that. when 'your song' comes on the radio, turn the station. when the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made & tries calling, turn your phone off. when he tries coming to your house, don't answer the door. think of the broken promises, & the lies, the manipulation & the tears, the wasted moments & staying up all night wondering where the crap he was. think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate & sing bleeding love in the middle of the night & how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn't him, & realized that once again, he hadn't called when he said he was going to. one day you'll find a guy who's worth all the tears, but he won't make you cry. you may think that you'll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will. it's going to hurt like crap, & it's going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal. this is for those girls who fell back in love with their ex, only to get hurt all over again.













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